Monday, 29 February 2016

10 Things I've Learned As A New Daddy This Week (Part 3)

1. At almost three weeks old, Mara is already an overachiever, having met her target weight gain goals days in advance and smashing through them with gusto!
95 grams in four days! Way to go my lil star! 

2.** Never trust a baby.
Just because they're smiling away and seem all happy and content doesn't mean they aren't about to unleash some unholy terror from between their nappy area. Always be on your guard.

3.** Wearing baby poo is going to become part of my daily routine. I have made peace with this fact. According to some friends it will only get worse!

4. My Mrs can give a pretty detailed description of what's currently happening "down there".

5. When your wife wakes you up at 03.00am to set up the kit for the breast pump machine, don't greet her with a "Have we not just done this?!" 
"Yes, we may have just did it at midnight, and we'll be doing it again at 06.00am. Every three hours, remember?! Forget it, I'll do it myself."
She might get a bit pissy with you.

6. Seeing your baby girl, who is a day shy of being three weeks old, being evicted from the incubator she's called home since she was born and upgraded to a heated cot because the "Aunties" in SCBU are so impressed with her progress that they think she is ready for it will really play with your emotions! 

7.** A pump with a lump... Use your imagination!

8. I can't remember what this one was going to be as I appear to have a touch of "baby-brain." Not as bad as Caroline has it though, she kinda trails off mid-sentence and looks into space.

9. See number 8!

10. Both Caroline and myself are totally overwhelmed by the well-wishes we have received from people! Those of you who we haven't seen or heard from in a long time, and those we haven't even met, thank you for taking the time to get in touch! It means a lot!!

**Apologies for the poop heavy post, but it has literally been that kind of week!

Monday, 22 February 2016

10 Things I've Learned As A New Daddy This Week (Part 2)

1. How to change a nappy like a ninja. I have mastered the art of the new nappy without waking her up!

2. When changing said nappy, Mara seems to think that it's an appropriate time to pee on me. Or all over her incubator.
Or worse.


3. Keeping the nurses in SCBU sweet with cakes and pastries is the way forward. Then, when you ask them for something out of the ordinary they're more likely to oblige! Subtle bribery is a great tool! Wait until I break out the big guns. 

4. Hospital food served up in the canteen isn't half as bad as you'd think. They make a mean Sweet & Sour chicken up there.


5. There are currently more bunnies around Mara's incubator than there are babies in the SCBU ward! 

6. My daughter and I appear to have our very own language. She makes all these little groans and squeaks and croaks which I repeat back to her and then she makes more noises when I'm done!

7. I'm too judgemental for my own good. I mean, if you thought I was bad before...!

8. My apprentice at work is very naive (bless!) When we ran out of milk for Mara last Sunday and I was called at 3am to bring some in he pondered over this fact for two days before asking why the nurses couldn't just nip over to the shops to pick up a carton of milk to see her through... He is 19.

9. Like both of us, Mara appears to be able to sleep through anything. Other babies crying in the room? Alarms for various monitors going off? Doors being slammed shut? She's not at all bothered. 

10. My in-laws are even more awesome than before. From keeping two houses going, picking up the slack at work while Caroline and I are in the hospital, cooking dinners, looking after Elvis and running errands back and forth to name some of the things they've done recently, it's  totally appreciated and we couldn't have managed the last couple of weeks without you two to lean on. 
So, Thank You Both!!

Friday, 19 February 2016

10 Things I've Learned As A New Daddy This Week (Part 1)

  1. Babies in utero don't listen to their parents. Apparently "Stay in there for another 5 weeks, or 5 hours even" means make an appearance as early as possible.
  2. Clothes for a premature baby (Mara was 32 weeks and weighed 3lbs) are the cutest things ever. Period.
  3. It is any new fathers rite of passage to be peed, pooped and sicked up on by their child in the first days of them being here.
  4. Breast milk baby sick smells like really bad Mac 'n' Cheese.
  5. Watching Mara sleep is better than watching TV.
  6. In just ten days, I now feel confident enough to assemble a breast pump in the dark with my eyes closed.
  7. What a speculum is. And how forceps work. Sweet f**king Jesus, I'm so glad I'm a guy!
  8. That "new baby smell" is slightly intoxicating. I'll elaborate... Not the smell occasionally wafting from her nappy, she just has this awesome aroma that I can't describe.
  9. Sleep is a luxury and should not be wasted. I would quite like to be wasted and then I might get some sleep!
  10. The overwhelming feeling of love that flushes through you the minute your baby arrives is indescribable.
And here's a bonus one - 

  11. It is not appropriate, or well recieved, to complain to your wife that the hospital hand sanitizer and alcohol gel has given you dry skin on your hands and arms when she has been ripped open and sewn back together (her words, not mine!)


There will be a proper blog coming sometime soon when I have a chance to sit down and actually write it!! Keep a lookout!