Friday, 27 May 2016

10 Things I've Learned As A New Daddy This Week (Part 13)

1. Using the baby change facilities when theres a queue makes you feel like you're participating in The Crystal Maze. Weirdly enough, if your baby is still bald its like you're changing Richard O'Brien!

2. Dad's who don't, or wont, change nappies are totally letting the side down. I've witnessed this first hand... "No, the mother will do it."  Man up! Its the *Year Of The Dad*, didn't you know?! Play the game! (See bottom of page for more information.)

3. Mara is only 4 months old, yet I can't remember the time before she got here. It's as if she's always been around.

4. Wiping the arse of a wriggling baby should be an Olympic sport. Rio 2016 anyone?
The older they get, the more fidgety they become and you have to come up with new and inventive ways to keep them still.

5. It takes about 2 hours to tidy our house to something resembling acceptable and roughly 43 seconds for all the hard work to come undone. Visitors, don't be expecting much.
And don't be surprised if I ask you to give the place a once over with the Hoover while you're here!
Sometimes I think we shouldn't even bother cleaning the house until Mara goes to Uni! (If she wants to anyway!)

6. Our washing machine is worked harder than the factory workers who supply Primark.

7. Having a large, hot latte and a muffin every day for 5 weeks while your baby is in SCBU will make you fat. True story. Slimming World and Pure Gym, my big arse is in your hands!

8. On that note, a hot cup of coffee is something I used to drink. It's lukewarm  if I'm really lucky these days.

9. A human baby can fart louder than an RAF Typhoon flying overhead. I swear Mara dropped one so ungodly the other day I thought our drinks were going to start shaking like that scene out of Jurassic Park with the T-Rex.

10. I love my little family more than anything in the world.
 I'd love my daughter a little bit more if she would stop emptying her arse on my legs.






** Year Of The Dad is a year of activity focused on embracing the potential of fathers and father figures, promoting their importance in child development and supporting the to be the dads they want to be. "Here's to the giants among men."
Click the highlighted link to find out more.