Meals & Feels

Meal time in our house can be a difficult time for all of us as, more often that not, Mara just refuses to eat.
To the extent that we manage to eventually get one spoonful in her mouth which she then spits back out and does some weird Haka to stop us giving her more.
Short of force feeding her, which obviously isn't even a consideration as this is an important stage in her development and I don't want her to be scared of food or have a weird relationship with it, I don't know what to do and it really upsets and frustrates me.

Caroline has spoken to me about it and it affects her to, maybe more so as she experiences it on a more frequent basis as I'm at work full time and Mara's care from Monday to Friday is shared with her mum when the other is working.

Maybe, given her prematurity, it concerns us more to witness her refusal of food.
Mara is 18 months old now, and weighs just over 18lbs. After a recent check up at the hospital, again because she was early, the Doctor said she was following her percentile trajectory in a satisfactory fashion, but maybe she would just always remain petite, but I don't want that for her.

I want her to be strong.
I want her to be healthy.

I want her to eat more than food puree pouches, yoghurts, wafers or a little bit of grated cheese, as there is little in the way of nutritional value, and they are too young for her development, however we eventually compromise as she's at least eating something.

I often find myself getting so frustrated I need to walk away and just stand and watch her poke about in the bowl and not actually put anything to her lips.
I look at other kids who are half her age and twice her size and it makes me feel that I'm doing something wrong. That I'm failing my daughter in some way.

When she was born we had to feed her through a nasal tube, by syringe, inside her incubator 1ml per feed. ONE millilitre. She weighed 2lbs 15oz and that was enough to fill her for a time. One millilitre.
So I know that due to her prematurity she might always be wee and may always have a small appetite, but it kills me a little every time she refuses to eat.

I'm your typical 30 something year old, brought up on ping dinners, sauce out of a jar, take aways and turkey dinosaurs due to lazy parents who hardly ever cooked a home made meal from scratch, resulting in me being a fussy eater and having quite a limited palate. Since meeting Caroline that has broadened substantially but I still point blank refuse to eat anything that comes from the sea!
We don't want to do that to Mara thought, and Caroline has always provided her with something healthy and home cooked, especially during the weaning phase.

Don't get me wrong she is happy enough and knows what she likes, but I just wish she would have more of it.

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